Blocking in the Name of Love
An old friend told me today that she “blocks” me from seeing her pro-Palestinian Instagram content. Instagram and Facebook (and perhaps other sites?) allow one to pick a specific audience for specific posts, and I am blocked from some of hers.
This friend knows where I stand on Israel, and is not interested in having an argument with me on the subject. As I hate to argue, we are aligned in this, she and I. She not only doesn’t want to squabble, she doesn’t want her old mentor to set his teeth on edge when he sees her political posts. Out of love, those are hidden from me. I still see her funny memes about dating and hockey, and still see her family photos.
I have another very good friend who has told me she has a second private Instagram page. This friend uses that page to share occasional risqué photos of herself. This woman is a former mentee. I would be uncomfortable if I saw those photos, and she is very clear she doesn’t want me to see them. To use a phrase I rely on too often, “that’s not our story.”
I’m a flawed and fragile human. Oh, I’m tough when I need to be, but I hate conflict. And while I’m more than happy to talk to anyone about anything that doesn’t involve expressions of anger, it’s no doubt best for everyone if I’m not included in my friends’ sexy selfie circles.
Knock yourself out, kiddo. It’s not for me.
I am reminded yet again that closed doors are not evidence of love’s absence. Sometimes, indeed, they are proof of it. We have different friends who play different parts in our lives, and it is good and right that we show them different parts (literally and metaphorically) of ourselves.
I don’t need to see you naked to love you. And while I will still love you when I see a reel of you waving a watermelon in support of Gaza, I am immensely appreciative of your consideration in deciding that I’m not your intended audience.
Honesty and kindness are rarely in conflict. When they seem to be, however, it is wise to let kindness prevail.