You did the right thing by David. Stuff like this soccer club can affect the trajectory of his whole life.
I spent 2 yrs trying to kill myself and another 5 or 6 fantasizing about it every day. It's important to have a purpose. That's the only thing that saved me. Nothing anyone ever said to me back then mattered. Not love, not shame, not anything. I found a purpose and applied myself... only then did the suicidal urges and ideation stop.
the way I read Hecht, your decision to stay is actually an act of mercy, not just to yourself, not just to the people who love you, but to the whole world, in some quasi spiritual sense. by staying you increase the quantity of mercy in the world. you contribute a tiny bit to tikkun olam. she understands, as most of us who have grappled with full-on suicidality understand, that rational arguments don't do much for a person truly in crisis. but they can sort of fore-arm you prophylactically against future crises. if you can really familiarize yourself, sort of steep your brain as it were, with the idea that suicide brings death to people you care about, your mind won't be so eager to grasp at that fantasy when you are feeling desperate.
It’s possible hearing that our deaths hurt others could be a deterrent for sure. It’s hard to see how it could make a person more likely to hurt themselves. Problem is suicide often isn’t so rational that those sorts of incentives will matter. Many people who survive suicide attempts express regret they even attempted it, which already indicates there’s a degree of irrationality and impulsiveness involved. I’m not sure if we can realistically deter someone so despondent to end their life to think about the remote possibility that their suicide might “cause” another nameless persons suicide.
You did the right thing by David. Stuff like this soccer club can affect the trajectory of his whole life.
I spent 2 yrs trying to kill myself and another 5 or 6 fantasizing about it every day. It's important to have a purpose. That's the only thing that saved me. Nothing anyone ever said to me back then mattered. Not love, not shame, not anything. I found a purpose and applied myself... only then did the suicidal urges and ideation stop.
the way I read Hecht, your decision to stay is actually an act of mercy, not just to yourself, not just to the people who love you, but to the whole world, in some quasi spiritual sense. by staying you increase the quantity of mercy in the world. you contribute a tiny bit to tikkun olam. she understands, as most of us who have grappled with full-on suicidality understand, that rational arguments don't do much for a person truly in crisis. but they can sort of fore-arm you prophylactically against future crises. if you can really familiarize yourself, sort of steep your brain as it were, with the idea that suicide brings death to people you care about, your mind won't be so eager to grasp at that fantasy when you are feeling desperate.
It’s possible hearing that our deaths hurt others could be a deterrent for sure. It’s hard to see how it could make a person more likely to hurt themselves. Problem is suicide often isn’t so rational that those sorts of incentives will matter. Many people who survive suicide attempts express regret they even attempted it, which already indicates there’s a degree of irrationality and impulsiveness involved. I’m not sure if we can realistically deter someone so despondent to end their life to think about the remote possibility that their suicide might “cause” another nameless persons suicide.