About a decade ago, some folks in the psychology community recommended changing the name of the illness that has shaped my entire adult life. Borderline Personality Disorder was too vague a term, they said; let’s rename it Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder
I understand the fixation on comparison and villainization of oneself. I do wonder if writing about it temporarily excises it from you, if putting it to paper allows you to, for a time, remove these feelings from yourself. Or, if writing solidifies these ideas of similarity. Perhaps it's more complicated than a simple binary like the one I present here? I understand your need to publish, to have your words viewed, and so I'll try never to suggest to you that private journaling is the answer. <3 I don't claim to know what the answer is, I just know that isn't on the list. ;-)
I think private journaling is a help -- but that will end the public writing. Trying to write anything after having journaled is like trying to eat a second gourmet dinner when one is already full.
It does excise it temporarily. I can go on to write about something else for now, until the next time, which may not be for a while.
Thank you, James, for reading, responding, and getting it.
I understand the fixation on comparison and villainization of oneself. I do wonder if writing about it temporarily excises it from you, if putting it to paper allows you to, for a time, remove these feelings from yourself. Or, if writing solidifies these ideas of similarity. Perhaps it's more complicated than a simple binary like the one I present here? I understand your need to publish, to have your words viewed, and so I'll try never to suggest to you that private journaling is the answer. <3 I don't claim to know what the answer is, I just know that isn't on the list. ;-)
I think private journaling is a help -- but that will end the public writing. Trying to write anything after having journaled is like trying to eat a second gourmet dinner when one is already full.
It does excise it temporarily. I can go on to write about something else for now, until the next time, which may not be for a while.
Thank you, James, for reading, responding, and getting it.