On a hot Sunday afternoon several summers ago, the children and I sat at Toppings Yogurt. Toppings is a staple in the Pico-Robertson neighborhood, itself the heart of Orthodox Jewish life in Los Angeles. There were two tables in Toppings. The kids and I sat at one; a large family of seven crowded around the other. Their clothing marked them as “frum” – fully observant Orthodox Jews. There was a mom, a dad, and five young children. Mom appeared to have a sixth on the way.
Can we really know what motivated that man to turn around? If a Christian pastor did it, would you have seen it as snobbish - a sign of your most detested emotion, disgust? Personally, when I read about your billionaire friend who didn’t buy coffee for you - and you assumed it was to protect your dignity - I was angry (for you!). By all means, he should have paid. You wrote something like, “I could tell he was trying to consider whether he should offer to pay.” But we do not really know what motivates others. Could be the same reason the mega rich often refuse to tip.
Can we really know what motivated that man to turn around? If a Christian pastor did it, would you have seen it as snobbish - a sign of your most detested emotion, disgust? Personally, when I read about your billionaire friend who didn’t buy coffee for you - and you assumed it was to protect your dignity - I was angry (for you!). By all means, he should have paid. You wrote something like, “I could tell he was trying to consider whether he should offer to pay.” But we do not really know what motivates others. Could be the same reason the mega rich often refuse to tip.