Sitemap - 2021 - Hugo Schwyzer
A Poem and a Carol
You Don't Get to Go: On the Moral Obligation not to Kill Oneself
An Apology to my Patient Readers
Changing Campus Politics: Why Disgrace Might Be Preferable to Irrelevance
Choices, Consequences, and Chivalry: Thoughts on Abortion
My Daughter Bought a Grateful Dead Sweatshirt -- But Doesn't Know Who They Are
Different Levels of COVID Caution? There's a Civil Way to Handle That, Too.
Faking it Till You Make It: How Channeling Clint Eastwood Helps my Marriage
"Mean Girl Shit," Dressed Up As Social Commentary: The Mocking of Kyrsten Sinema
The Right to the Story: Taylor Swift and the Sexual Politics of Memory
There is No "Them"
A Really Good Pretend: How Horror Movies Soothe My Fears About My Children
There is no such thing as healthy public shaming
Quick Thoughts on Virginia
It Takes All Sorts to Make a World: A Defense of Gentle Liberalism in a Fiercely Partisan Age
The Good was Very Good, the Bad was Horrid: My Daughter Starts to Reckon with Growing Up in the Kabbalah Centre
A Deep and Enduring Satisfaction: on Seeing the Rolling Stones
Everyone is Afflicted
Who Wants You to Believe it's the End of the World As You Know It?
A Thank-You Note to Subscribers
When "Raven" became "True" -- Navigating Gender Identity at My Daughter's Middle School
Dancing with the Girl Who Brung Ya: Clinging to Civility When the Culture Demands Otherwise
"Eira Doesn't Count:" Why My Fiancee Wants my Ex-Wife at our Wedding Next Week
The Mountain Troll in the Checkout Lane
My Son, My Father, Football and the Hard Condition of the World
It Ain’t Over: Politics, Football, and the Enduring Temptation to Declare a Premature Victory
Goldilocks and the Trader Joe's Cashier
Power in the Blood: On Going Back to Selling my Plasma
Raising Young Diplomats in a Divided World: Pronouns, Rodeo, and Openness
Just the Due Recompense of Your Error: Gay Men, the AIDS crisis, and the Unvaccinated
All My Ex In-Laws
Three Dog Night and Dixie: the Innocent, Complicit Pluralism of my Childhood Music Class
Heartbreak and Heat on September 10
Sex Strikes, Abortion Laws, and the Real Meaning of Lysistrata
The Texas Abortion Law Means Gavin Newsom Will Survive: The GOP's Missed Chance to Court Civil Libertarians
What I Need the Children to Know: Part Two of my Self-Interview
A Refuge from COVID, Trump, and the Culture Wars: Why Everyone is into Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram
Many Paths to the Mountaintop: My Daughter's First Time at a Reform Synagogue
Embracing ‘Never Getting Over It:’ Part One of an Interview with Myself
Of Fear and Monsters and Billboards
When She Wants It More than You Do: How Being the Lower-Desire Partner Changed my Life
Vulgarity at the State Fair
Six Keys to Being a Gentleman
What Will Sustain You When Everything Falls Apart?
Good Old Boys Like Us: Bill Clinton Turns 75
Why Can't Everyone Be Like Me? On "Zero COVID" and Irreconcilables
In the Prison of His Days, a Child Asks the Grocery Clerk for a Lollipop
My first interview in eight years
The Boys Are, in Fact, Okay
Are the Boys Okay? (Yes).
Signing on for the Duration
The Five Types of Cancelled People
"Numbers Don't Matter When It's Your Child": The Vaccine Wars, Culture, and Subjective Anxieties
Curiosity Will Save Us
What I Am is Because of What I Was: Memory and Fallacy
Deciding Who Gets to See You Naked
A Broad and Generous Definition of Heroism: Celebrating Kerri Strug’s “Yes”— and Simone Biles’ “No.”
Two Small Town White Boy Country Singers, Two Very Different Reckonings
I've Lost Weight, My Fiancée Hasn't - and People are Judging
On Getting Married, for the Fifth Time
The Whirligig of Time: What the Quiz Show Scandals Can Teach Us about Surviving Cancel Culture
My Kids Deserve a New Story: A Plea for Help from my Readers
Who Are You Calling We? The Dangers of Certainty and Exclusion
Other Selves Pulling the Strings: Desire, Self-Harm, and the Longing to be Longed For
History and Humility
A Small Death on the Ranch Road
The Day I Picked the Wrong Role Model
The Children Are Missing: Thirty Minutes of Terror
Please, Let Me Be Forgotten: My Letter to Los Angeles Magazine
Joining in My Father's Remarks: A Sketch of Family History
The Noom Diet is Probably NOT the Hero's Journey
I'm 54, but I Will Always Call Myself a Boy
The #MeToo Movement and the Refusal to Draw Distinctions
Mixed Race Kids and the Great Racial Reckoning
There Will Be no Happy Ending. We Stay, Anyway.
What Does 8:46 Mean? On George Floyd, 9/11, and Memory
Weekly Digest, June 13 2021
The Bewildered Mentee -- The Collateral Damage of Professor-Student Romances
What are Sports For?
The Rise and Fall of Yashar Ali
Is Revenge Porn Sometimes Necessary?
Every Battle is a Battle over Memory
Weekly Digest - June 6, 2021
A Mea Culpa on Age-Gap Relationships
The Cousin Who Fell Off the Mountain: On Family and Memory
SlutWalk, 10 Years On
The Abortion Wars are Still with Us
The Dream, Again
Weekly Digest — May 30, 2021
Beyond Lust and Disgust: Good Manners, Community, and Bodies
My Daughter Takes Gymnastics in an Orthodox Jewish Gym -- and Men Can't Come to Her Spring Showcase
There is No Perfect Time to Have Children
The Firings Will Continue until Error Abates: on What it Will Take to End Cancel Culture
Two One-Night Stands, 26 Years Apart
My Ancestors' Hands Upon My Shoulders: Remembering My Son's Circumcision
I'm Glad for Other People's Guns
Against Nostalgia, or Why You Should Listen to New Music
Is a Gentleman Just a "Self-Effacing Doormat?"
An Update from your Trader Joe's Crew Member
I Could Never Date Someone Who Likes Ayn Rand: on Snobbery and Dismissiveness
The TikTok Influencers who Comfort my Daughter
We Take Care of Our Own
How SHOULD Middle-Aged Men Talk about Billie Eilish?
"Promise Me Son, Not to Do the Things I've Done"
All the Fearful People: Anti-Vaxxers and Desperate Maskers in the Grocery Store
Why Can't You See You're Not Blake Bailey?
My "Goy Toy": Sex, Religion, and Rejection
In Defense of Secret Lives
"We Wanted You to Have a Lovely Party": A Truck, a Dog, and a Lie
The Courage to Betray Other Men: Why "Promising Young Woman" is Such a Compelling Moral Challenge
"Nothing is More Cruel than Righteous Indignation:" In Praise of Defense Lawyers
"A Power I Didn't Know I Had" -- A Mentee Asks Why I Never Tried to Sleep With Her
My Ex and I Agree: Manners are the Most Important Thing We Can Teach Our Children
The Woke, or the Reactionary? How Liberals Can Choose Between Two Unappetizing Options
We Can -- and Should -- Live Our Lives in Compartments.
Promising Young Man: What I Fear is the Real Reason I Got my Teaching Job
Changing the Mascot Name, or Pulling Down the Statue: Who Gets to Decide?
Getting on with the Business of Living: Thoughts on Prince Philip
The Joy of Stopping During Sex
What SHOULD You Say When Someone Shows You a Naked Photo That Isn't Yours to See?
The Transcendent Comforts of a Secular Easter
The Homosocial Bounder: Matt Gaetz, and His Obsession with Other Men's Admiration
The Day I Resigned My Teaching Job
Repentance and Return: What Jewish Tradition Tells Us about Restoring the Cancelled
One Man's Vulgarity Remains Another Man's Lyric: Defending Free Speech Absolutism
We Should Still Delight in Problematic Art
White Men, Mass Killings, and the Absence of Safe Male Mentors
One Week as a Deke
The Cruelest Thing about Cancel Culture? The Friendships it Destroys
We Are Incompletely Seen: On Speaking Ill of the Dead
The Plague Year at Trader Joe's
Should Men Teach Women's Studies?
"I Wonder What Your Children Will Look Like:" Mixed Race Identity, Evolving Family Values, and THAT Interview
Recollections May Vary
Memorable Chats with the Children, Women's Day Edition
The Historian as Defense Lawyer, or What PhDs are Good For
"A Man's Got to Know His Limitations" -- When I Tried to Be an Accountant
Why I Don't Boycott Anything
"Just Because You Said Nasty Things About Me on Twitter it Doesn't Mean We Can't Be Friends"
I'm Against Cancel Culture. I Still Think Andrew Cuomo Should Resign.
My Second Wife Threw Out All My Diaries
My Second Wife Threw Out All My Diaries
The WASP and the Money Dance: A Wedding, and a Lesson in Manners
Sex, Lies, and Britney Spears: on Illusions of Power
I was Born to Teach, But Never Should Have Been a Teacher: Mental Illness and Excellence
Catches and Canyons: Making the Most of the Time with the Children
Nothing Feels Better than Blood on Blood: The Black Sheep and the Brilliant One
Your Rush Limbaugh was Not My Rush Limbaugh: Goodness, Badness, Humility and Perspective
Ten Years Later, Should I Ask My College Friend How He Really Felt About Me?
You Have Hurt Us, But We Aren't Going to Tell the World: On Family Loyalty in a Revolutionary Age
Writing Good Politics with Crooked Lines: Against Resigning after a Scandal
The Denny's Where We Say Goodbye
Why I Stopped Sleeping With Students -- and Why I Went Back
Why Don't Young People Ask Me Questions? And, Are We Having Too Little Sex?
Everyone Who Touches Us Makes Us Who We Are
"White Boy Mojo" - an anecdote
"Covering Up the Gal in the Daisy Dukes": WASP families and the Paradox of Making Everyone Feel Comfortable
Help! My Twin Brother is a Very Polite Trumper! Can I still Confront Him?
"The Wind Will Keep Your Secrets, But You Still Probably Shouldn't Shout:" a Breakup Story
The Day I Was Kicked Out of Eighth Grade
The Ancient, Murderous Roots of Q-Anon
Advice Column: the Case of the COVID-fearing Bridesmaid
"I'm Sorry, Sir, Your Son May Die"
Grief isn't the Same as Regret: an Abortion Reflection
My Daughter, the Bat Mitzvah
"Serves You Right, Cracker:" Rethinking Cancel Culture after January 6
Ask Hugo: What to Do About a Younger Boyfriend --and Q-Anon Parents?
Divorce Just Let More Love In: On My Parents' 57th Wedding Anniversary
The Place Where We Become What We Said We Would Be
"Daddy, What are You Doing to Stay Safe?"
Announcing an Advice Column
Body, Remember: On Aging, Desire, and the Slide into Invisibility